Over The Rainbow
by CrAzYcAnAdIaNcHiCk710
Summary: Mimi finds a young girl on the street. Will her deep, dark past be revealed to them? post RENT. not your average OC story! chapter 8 rewritten!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, or the song "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"**

**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE! **

**Chapter One**

Mimi was walking back to the loft. She had gotten a job at the Life Café as a waitress and nothing could bring her down. She had come so far since her near-death experience a year ago. She was passing the park as she was humming to herself when she stopped in her tracks.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Way up high_

_There's a land that I heard of_

_Once in a lullaby_

Now it wasn't unusual to hear street performers in this area of New York. There was either someone singing, drawing, or drumming on most street corners to earn money. But this voice sounded different to Mimi. It was young and innocent. She decided to investigate.

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_

_And wake up where the clouds are far behind me._

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops,_

_Away above the chimney tops,_

_That's where you'll find me.  
_

Mimi's search brought her to the main fountain in the park. There was a young girl, couldn't be older than sixteen, singing. Her clothes were worn and an upside-down hat with various coins and bills was a foot away from her. Mimi noticed the girl had a small audience: an elderly couple, a woman with a stroller, and a few children sitting on nearby benches.

_If happy little bluebirds fly_

_Beyond the rainbow_

_Why, oh why can't I?_

She received a small applause, followed by people placing money into her hat. She murmured "thank you," to those who did. Mimi walked up to her and placed a five dollar bill into the hat, and got a smile in return. The girl had dark blonde hair and blue eyes. Mimi went and sat on the bench that was just vacated by the children who had been watching the girl. She was going to talk to the girl.

* * *

After the last person dropped a quarter in to the girl's hat, she gathered her earning into a coin purse with a metal clasp. She then put on her hat, picked up a backpack with a small logo on it, and began to walk away. Before she got too far, Mimi stopped her.

"Excuse me," she said, tapping the girl on the shoulder, causing her to quickly turn around, with a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I just noticed you're alone, and New York, the East Village especially, isn't a good place for someone your age to be alone."

"First of all, don't talk to me like I'm six, I'm fifteen. And second, why are you talking to me? This city isn't exactly known for its caring people," the girl snapped back.

"I just thought you could use some help," Mimi replied.

"Who said I wanted any help? And how could you possibly help me when you have no idea of what I've been through?" The girl said, using the same tone as before. she turned on her heels to run away, but Mimi grabbed her arm to stop her.

"I may not know what you've been through, but I know what it's like to live on the streets. I know what its like knowing you don't have a warm home to go to at the end of the day," Mimi said coldly, but quickly changed the tone of her voice. "Let me help you."

The girl was shocked. No one had ever been this nice to her before. she gave in.

"Ok, fine."

"Good. Oh, how rude of me! I'm Mimi. Mimi Marquez, soon to be Mimi Davis. What's your name?"

"Kaila Turner."

"Well, nice to meet you Kaila," Mimi said.

* * *

**A/N: If anyone can think of a good title for the fic, tell me in a review please!**


	2. Shifting Winds Of Change

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own RENT, Jonathan Larson, musical genius, does. I do own Kaila though.**

A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!

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**Chapter 2: Shifting Winds of Change**

"Well, this is it," Mimi said, as she opened the door to the building. "Mine is second from the top, just under my fiancé and his best friend's loft. I don't know why I even still have it, I just go there to think sometimes, that's all."

They walked up the stairs in silence. Kaila looked around, examining the graffiti, the worn down banisters, and other various things she saw. _Hey, it's better than a park bench, even if it only ends up being for one night. _When they reached Mimi's apartment, they stopped.

"What?" Kaila asked.

"Do you think you can wait in here for a while? Just so I can tell my friends," Mimi paused. "I just don't want them to get all freaked out, you know?

Kaila sighed, but agreed.

"Promise you won't leave?" Mimi asked, opening the door.

"I promise," Kaila said, and with that, she entered the apartment.

After she closed the door, Mimi made her way up to the loft.

Mimi slid open the door to find her friends scattered in various places throughout the room. Roger was on the torn-up sofa, softly playing her guitar, Joanne and Collins were in the kitchen having a deep discussion about politics or something or other, while Maureen's head turned as each of them made their arguments, and Mark was filming it all.

"I'm home!" Mimi said, walking over to Roger and kissing his cheek. Everyone else was still going about their business. She walked over to the window.

"Everyone, I have something to tell you," she said, but could barely be heard over them. She repeated herself, nothing. Then, she got up on the windowsill and whistled loudly through her fingers. That got their attention, and everyone looked at her.

"That's better," she said.

"What is it Mimi? Roger asked.

"Well, I was walking home from work today, and I heard this wonderful singing coming from the park," Mimi said. "So I followed it and I found the owner of the voice. She was just a young girl! Her name is Kaila and she's fifteen years old. So I talked to her and brought her home and she's downstairs at my place right now. I was thinking she could stay with us for a while."

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Kaila POV 

Kaila looked around Mimi's room.

_Why is she helping me like this? I sure as hell have never been treated this nice since-_

She cut off her thought, as to not bring the pain of the memory. She began to explore the room. She saw picture of Mimi and man on the wall. He had longish dirty blond hair and green eyes. _Her fiancé_. She thought, as there was another picture of the two of them kissing beside it. Then she came to another picture, of Mimi and five other people. Her, her fiancé, a man with dark rimmed glasses, a woman with brown hair, whose arm was around the shoulder of another woman with dark skin, and a man with dark skin whose arm was around a Hispanic looking woman, or was that a man? They all looked so happy together, something Kaila never had for too long in her life.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking Mimi?!"" Roger said loudly. She came down from her position on the windowsill to try to explain, but Maureen interrupted her. 

"Well I think it's great! A new bohemian!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Honey," Joanne said to her. "Taking in a kid is a big responsibility. It's not like when you got that fish, what was its name?"

"Arthur," Maureen said softly.

"Oh yes. Well, it's not like when you got Arthur. Remember what happened to him?"

Maureen nodded.

Joanne then explained to the rest of the group. "We went to visit my parents for a weekend and _somebody _forgot to get someone else to come over and feed him. When we got back, well, you know."

"Can we deal with the situation at hand please?" Mark said. "Roger, it isn't that bad. We'll find a way to figure this out. Who am I kidding? What were you thinking Mimi? We can't take care of a kid. We can barely take care of ourselves!"

"I know that! I just felt sorry for her! I could relate to her! Before any of you even met me I was living on the streets," Mimi said.

* * *

_Sheesh, it's taking her a long time. _

Kaila made her way into another room; she assumed it was the bedroom. She sat on the bed. Then, she noticed something. She saw a small bag of white powder sticking out from a book on the night stand. She picked it up. She had heard about heroin before, in the whole "just say no" program at school. She had no intention of ever trying the stuff; it had already messed up her life enough. But she wondered why Mimi would use it.

She then heard yelling from upstairs.

* * *

Mimi and Mark were continuing to go back and forth on their debate about keeping Kaila. 

"Well, how are we going to pay for her, kids cost money you know?" Mark argued. "We're going to need more food."

"I don't know right now Mark! I can take some extra shifts at the Café. I just can't send her back out on the streets, I just can't! Especially since it's getting cold out there!"

"Well," Mark said, knowing he was on the losing side of this argument. "Collins, what do you think about this?"

Collins looked up. He had been completely silent through this whole thing.

"I think you should ask Kaila how she feels about it," he calmly responded.

"Shit! I forgot she was still down there!" Mimi said. But before she walked out the door, she turned to everyone and said, "Could you guys be nice to her? I have a feeling she hasn't had the best life."

They all nodded, and Mimi went downstairs to get Kaila.

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A/N: Good? Bad? Tell me what you think! 


	3. Depends On Trust

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**A/N: I'm back! Yay! Sorry it took so long, I just was out of ideas, but now I'm not!**

**So here it is, REVIEW!**

Chapter 3: Depends on Trust

Kaila POV

I suddenly heard the clicking of high-heel boots coming towards the door; I quickly put the heroin baggie in its original spot. The door opened revealing Mimi.

"Alright, ready to meet the bohemians?"

"I guess," I replied, standing up and following her upstairs.

She slid open the large metal door. I immediately saw five other people in the room. I recognized her fiancé from the photo; he was now sitting near the window softly playing a guitar.

"She's here, she's here! Our new bohemian is here!" the woman with brown curls screamed as she ran up to me and enveloped me in an uncomfortable hug. I looked to Mimi, the look on my face pleading her to make the woman stop.

"Maureen, she can't breathe!" Mimi exclaimed.

"Oh," she said, letting go of me. "Well, I'm Maureen. And that's Collins, Mark, Joanne, and Roger's over there by the window." She pointed to each person as they looked up as their name was called, murmuring "hellos." I did not see the Hispanic man from the picture, but I didn't say anything.

After a few seconds of quiet, Joanne came up to me.

"Hello Kaila, it's nice to meet you," she said, extending her hand which I hesitantly shook. All the others followed her example, walking up to me to properly introduce themselves.

"Hey, I'm Collins." Hand shake. Went back to reading his book.

"I'm Mark." Hand shake. Went back to fiddling with his camera.

"I'm Roger." Hand shake. Went back to playing his guitar.

Everyone went back to what they were doing before. Mimi led me to the kitchen area, where I sat down at an old metal table.

I had yet to say a word to any of them. I found it funny though, that none of them, except Mimi, Maureen, and Joanne had said more than three words to me. I think they were somewhat annoyed that I was there. At Mark and Roger were, as they were both completely ignoring my presence and hadn't looked me in the eye. Collins however, didn't seem that irritated by the fact I was there. He occasionally looked up from his book, caught eye contact with me and gave me a small smile, which I returned. Contrary to his tough outward appearance, I could tell he was a kind person.

Mimi then handed me a mug with hot chocolate in it, which I took greedily, holding it in my hands before taking a sip. She then poured one for herself, and sat across from me.

"So," she began. "Where are you from?"

"Boston," I replied. I knew this could possibly turn in to me telling her my life story.

"Oh," she said in a way that made me think she regretted taking me in.

"Look, I just want to say thank you. It may not have seemed like it at first, but I'm glad I'm getting help, even though 'help' for me is considered a real place to stay, I'm happy. I'm sorry about how I acted earlier. I just haven't exactly grown up trusting people," I said.

"Well are you going to tell us about your past?" she asked.

"Like I said, I have trust issues. The more trust you all gain, the more I will tell you," I said seriously.

"Ok," she said, and then Maureen came over.

"So Kaila, um, what do you like to do?" she asked. Fair enough question, as long as it never got personal I would answer anything, but personal started much sooner for me than it did fro other people.

"I like to sing, I was actually finishing up a 'performance' in the park when Mimi found me."

"Oh my gosh, you sing? Me too! Well sort of, I can sing but that's not my main interest. I'm a performance artist. I did a protest against our old landlord Benny two years ago, he had the cops there 'just in case' and there was this huge riot. But Mark got footage of it and sold it to some news station so it was on TV," Maureen continued to ramble on about her protest.

Joanne came up to her, put an arm around her shoulder, and kissed her cheek. She sat down next to me after getting herself a cup of hot chocolate. She didn't question me about anything, although I could tell she wanted to. She sat there gazing off out the window, as if she was planning her interrogation. I think she might be a lawyer, or have some other job that society recognizes as important. Her clothes were more professional than the others and her handshake seemed respectful other than everyone else's.

It was now silent, except for Roger's soft guitar playing and the occasional turn of a page on Collins's book every minute or so. In some ways silence was a good thing, or at least I had known it to be a good thing, but now, the silence declared my unclear future.

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	4. No Family

**Disclaimer: anything you recognize from RENT, I do not own!**

**A/N: **Sorry I took so long! Please Review!

**Chapter 4: No Family**

Kaila POV

As I fell into a deep sleep, my thoughts seemed as if there were being consumed by some evil darkness, but after about a minute, it all faded away and in place of it was the outside of a shop- a pet shop. When I entered it I saw all kinds of animals looking for homes: kittens, puppies, hamsters, and other animals. One particular kitten in a cage caught my eye for some unknown reason.

It was a tan color with blue eyes.

I stood there observing it for a while. It pawed at the cage door, trying to get someone's attention. Finally, a young couple came up to it, and took it out of the cage.

"Oh, it's so cute!" I heard the wife say, looking from the kitten to her husband.

"Kittens are a big responsibility though sweetie," the husband began. "Why don't we get a fish instead?"

"But isn't she just adorable?"

"Yes, but kittens take a lot of time to care for, they require constant attention, and we can't be there to take care of it all day."

"You're right. We'll get a fish." And with that, she placed the kitten back in her cage, and walked off.

The kitten looked sad now. She watched the couple walk away with lonely eyes.

Then I saw a woman approach the row of cages, stopping at the one beside the tan one's. She took the kitten out, cuddled it, and then took it out the door, claiming it as hers. This made the kitten I was focused on only look more depressed. Suddenly, all the other kittens in surrounding cages vanished, leaving only the tan one. I walked up to her cage and read the information sheet taped to it. As I read over it, I found something that caused my heart to skip a beat.

In neat, cursive handwriting, I read the name: Kaila.

* * *

I woke with sweat on my forehead. Memories were trying to come back into my mind, only to be blocked by my will to forget. I sat up and looked around the room (which was Mark's, he's sleeping on the couch tonight.) There were numerous film reels stacked in the corner, and disassembled camera parts sitting on a makeshift desk. He's a filmmaker.

I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach: hunger. I glanced at the clock. 4:28. I didn't want to wake anyone, much less be caught going through the fridge of almost perfect strangers. But my appetite got the best of me.

I got up out of the bed, pulling on a sweatshirt Roger (reluctantly) lent me, over my t-shirt and pajama bottoms (Mimi lent me those.) I opened the door, making sure to be as quiet as possible as I walked past Mark on the couch (whose face I couldn't see.) When I got to the kitchen area I opened the fridge. There wasn't much in it- a half eaten sandwich and a carton of milk. I went over the cabinet, opened it, finding a half full box of Cap'n Crunch. I immediately took it and started eating the cereal. I sat down at the metal table.

This couldn't be a more awkward situation for me. Here I was, in New York, in the apartment of a few 20 something years olds, one of which was snoring loudly on the sofa in front of me, eating cereal. As awkward as it was though, it was sort of comforting. He couldn't hurt me here.

I sighed as I took another handful of cereal into my mouth, causing me to awkwardly choke and cough, and waking Mark.

He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and put on his glasses. He looked at me with some shock; I stayed frozen holding the cereal box and looking back at him. After a few minutes of silence he got up and walked over to the "kitchen."

"So you're a filmmaker?" I asked, needing to break the deafening silence.

"Yeah," he replied, sitting across from me.

"So you're a singer?"

"Yes," I replied. Okay, this was getting annoying.

"What do you film?" I said.

"Life. The life of my friends, to keep them alive once they're gone," I gave him a puzzled look. "They have AIDS. Mimi, Roger, and Collins."

"Oh…wow."

Oh my God. That's awful. I never would've thought they were sick. This is just great. I get taken in by these people, and half of them are dying!

"They like to live their lives as if there's no tomorrow. They have no regrets, because if they did, they couldn't be where they are today," Mark said.

"I guess that's good," I said, feeling a little better about the situation.

"Yep," he said, looking out the window. "I just wish I could live like that."

"Why can't you? You should be able to do that the best, since you have the most time to do so," I asked.

"I can't because I'm the one to survive; it's almost a fate as worse as theirs. I am forced to watch them die. I'll end up alone in the end," Mark said, his voice fading a bit at the end.

"You won't be completely alone. There's still Maureen and Joanne here."

"Oh yes, my ex-girlfriend turned lesbian and the woman she dumped me for," I had to giggle a bit at that, he smiled a bit too. "I suppose that's true, but that's not a lot of people to have as a support system."

"You're right, but to tell you the truth, I never had much of a support system growing up either," I replied cautiously. I took another handful of cereal in my mouth in hopes to avoid talking more.

I then got up, put the box back into the cabinet, and turned in the direction of Mark's room.

"Hey Kaila?" he said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for how me and Roger were earlier. We can be real asses sometimes when big changes happen. And thanks for the talk."

"Anytime. Goodnight," I replied.

"'Night," he said before going back to the sofa.

I went back to bed knowing a little more about one of the people who were taking me in, and wondering about what was in store for me in the near future.

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**A/N: **I know I know, I took forever to update, I just didn't have any good ideas until now! REVIEW PLEASE!!!! 


	5. Cups Of Coffee

**Disclaimer: What do you think? Of course I don't own RENT!**

**A/N: **So here it is- chapter 5. READ & REVIEW!

Chapter 5: Cups Of Coffee

I woke the next morning from a thankfully dreamless sleep. I looked at the clock.

_11:24. _

Shit!

I slept in. Were these people early-risers? I had no clue. I only had met them last night! I didn't hear anything coming from outside the room. I got up and walked over to the door, opening it just a little. Nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief. I decided to just stay awake and lay in the bed until I heard someone out there.

* * *

Around noon, I heard someone stumble into the kitchen. Apparently they stubbed their toe or something, because I heard them jumping up and down and quietly repeating a specific cuss word many times. I let out a small giggle. I decided to go out. 

I slowly and quietly crept out of the room. I saw that the person was Roger. He was starting to make coffee. As he turned around he saw me and stopped what he was doing. He just stood there, silently staring at me.

What was it with these people and silent staring moments?

I just stared back. After a minute or so he went back to making coffee. I saw Mark was still on the duct tape covered sofa, asleep under three layers of blankets. I quietly went over and sat at the metal table.

More silence.

I had to end the quietness before I screamed!

"He told me."

"Hm?" Roger replied, if you can call that a reply.

"Mark. He told me about you, Mimi, and Collins," I answered carefully. I now regret even starting the conversation, after seeing the look on his face.

"Oh. Well, I guess you were going to find out sometime," he said, going back to making the coffee, not wanting to continue talking about that subject, but I wanted to know a little more.

"May I ask how you got it?" I think I was entering dangerous territory for him, since he stopped and looked directly at me. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, as if planning a way to tell this to an almost complete stranger.

"About four years ago, my girlfriend, April, and I got in to drugs, smack to be specific. We became seriously addicted. We shared needles. About six months after we started with it all, she killed herself; she slit her wrists in the bathroom, leaving a note saying 'We've got AIDS.' I'm not sure who gave it to whom, but I was stuck with it now. It took me almost six months to completely get off the smack," he said.

I could see a tear fall down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away with his sleeve.

"And Mimi?"

"Probably dirty needles, she was a junkie too. She's been clean for the past year though."

Uh-oh! He doesn't know she still has some left, this will not be good! He thinks everything's alright. I just won't say anything yet.

"Do you know how Collins got it?" I asked, changing my train of thought.

"No, he never did drugs though, so he probably got it from one of his ex-partners," he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and offering me one, which I accepted.

"Oh."

"So, anyways," Roger said, seeing a need for a subject change. "What else did Mark tell you?"

Should I tell him what Mark told me about being left alone? I really don't know if that's my business. And Mark wouldn't want the others to feel worse about their fates.

I decided not to.

"Nope."

More weird silence.

"So why are you in New York?" he asked.

"I ran away."

How childish did that sound? I had good reasons for running away though, not just the usual "not allowed to have a cookie until after dinner" thing a six year old uses for a reason to run away.

"From?"

Oh no. He's going to keep asking about it. I'll try to keep it honest though, just leave some things out.

"I ran away from my step-dad."

"Can I ask why?" he questioned.

"No, or at least, not yet," I said in a serious tone, redirecting my eyes at my coffee mug, signaling that I didn't want to go to far into this subject.

"Then when?"

"Like I told Mimi, I need to trust people before I go and tell them my whole life story, and believe me, you guys are going to need a lot of trust before that happens," I replied, still tense but more relaxed. I took a rather large sip of coffee.

"Ok, I understand," Roger said, completely dropping the subject.

I really hate these awkward silences, and the fact that I'm the one who almost always has to end them.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Roger said before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Do you believe in young love? Not the cheesy movie puppy-love kind of thing, but true love, for people my age," I asked.

"I suppose," he said. "If the person is your soul mate I guess. Mimi was actually only nineteen when I fell in love with her. Why do you ask?"

"Because when I ran away I left someone I loved behind," I said quietly, my voice cracking a little bit.

"Oh. What's his name?" he asked.

"Luke," I replied, attempting to stay calm.

Just then, Mark woke with a jerk mumbling something about evil penguins invading New York.

I silently thanked him for interrupting the conversation.

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**A/N:** So there you have it, another clue to her past! Well...2 clues! YAY! Reviews are sweet like a strawberry smoothie with a hint of kiwi and a twisty straw on a hot summer day… (Sorry Nicole I forgot the rest of that thing!) REVIEW PLEASE!


	6. You Okay Honey?

**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT!!! **

**A/N:** here is chapter 6! Sorry for not updating in like, forever! I honestly don't think this chapter is that great, but oh well.

Chapter 6:You Okay Honey?

(Once again, Kaila POV, which it will probably always be unless I say it isn't)

"I'M HERE!" Maureen dramatically shouted as loudly as she could, entering the loft. Everyone murmured their "hi"s in less-than-enthusiastic tired voices.

Joanne followed her in.

At this moment, _12:32_ to be exact, everyone-Mimi, Roger, Mark, me, and Collins, were awake. Everyone except Roger and I were sitting in the main area. Maureen bounced over to the sofa and plopped down next to Mark, causing him to almost spill his coffee.

"Hello Marky!" she said. He just yawned as his reply.

Probably thinking she would get the same response from all the others, she went to me next.

"Hey Kaila, how are you?" she asked, coming into the kitchen area.

"I'm good, you?" I asked in just as an energetic voice as she was using. Everyone laughed a little bit.

"So what are the plans for today?" Joanne asked.

"Well," Collins said. "Mimi has to go to work in two hours, Roger has a gig around eight, Mark, I don't know what the hell Mark's gonna go do, probably go film something, and I'm gonna go visit Angel sometime today."

Everyone was quiet for a minute or so, the reason for this I did not understand. When the quiet time was up, Maureen spoke again.

"Well does Miss Kaila have any plans for today?"

"No I don't," I replied.

"Well good! You can hang out with me and Pookie!" she said, motioning over to Joanne.

"Great," I said sort of sarcastically. Thankfully, she didn't pick up on it.

* * *

Everyone went their separate ways, leaving me, Maureen, and Joanne sitting in the loft. 

Awkward silence.

I decided to go out on a limb.

"Who's Angel?"

Neither of them spoke. I guessed I had gone into a topic not talked about for a while.

"Angel was Collins's love. She made us all believe in love actually. She died a little over a year ago, from AIDS," Maureen said, her voice wavering.

"What did he mean by 'go see her' then?" I asked.

"He's going to her grave," Joanne explained. "He talks to her. I think he feels closer to her that way."

"I see," I replied. "Can I go see her?"

They looked at each other as if to say "Um, should we?"

"Let's wait a while first, to give Collins some time alone," Maureen said.

* * *

Around _1:15_ we took a taxi down to the cemetery just outside the city. That was the first time I really saw the city without being scared. When I first came here, my focus was on finding a place to sleep and finding a way to get food. 

Now I was actually _seeing _New York City.

I was in awe. It seems touristy, but I loved all the neon lights, people, and little shops.

When we arrived at the Oak Grove Cemetery, we all got quieter. Joanne paid the cab driver and we all just stood there for a while, no one really knowing what to say.

We entered the cemetery through the cold, black, iron gates. There were trees shadowing certain areas, and their remaining leaves covering some of the grass. There were a few other people visiting their lost loved ones, silently weeping at several headstones.

After a few more minutes of walking, I saw Collins standing in front of a tombstone with flowers placed at the bottom of it. He looked like he was crying.

"Let's leave him alone for a bit," Joanne said, motioning for us all to sit on a nearby bench.

I could tell they were thinking about Angel. Their eyes were filling with tears and staring blankly in the distance. This only made me wonder more how this Angel person touched their lives in such a tremendous way. After ten minutes, Collins turned around, and was met by three sets of eyes looking at him. He stared back at us with a half sad, half shocked look on his face.

He just sighed and sat down on the bench next to me.

"So what do you want to know about her?" he simply asked.

"What ever you're willing to talk about I guess."

"Alright," Collins said, pausing to recollect his thoughts. "Well, Angel was one of a kind. She was so loving. It was funny, the night I met her I had just gotten beat up. Most people would see someone like me in an alley and just keep walking, but not Angel, she helped me. She took me to Life Support, which is a group for people with AIDS, which helped me a lot. The next day we basically proclaimed our love for each other, and were inseparable until…" He stopped to keep himself from bursting into tears.

I just nodded, getting the point of what he was going to say.

That was so sad. I couldn't imagine what he was going through. We sat there just in silence for a while before leaving.

* * *

As we walked towards the cemetery exit, I felt like someone was watching me from somewhere. I just brushed it off and kept following Collins, Maureen, and Joanne. 

But the feeling didn't go away. My breath seemed to quicken for some reason, I kept walking though. I looked all around me but didn't see anything.

Then I saw him-Brad, clear as day, standing by a tree a few rows of grave stones away, staring at me with his evil-looking eyes.

I quietly started to choke up and sweat, although inside I was screaming my head off. I shut my eyes really hard, opened them and he was gone. F-cking hallucinations.

Collins must have noticed something was up.

"You ok Kaila?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine," I said quickly.

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**A/N: **Clues! Great, now the Blue's Clues theme song is in my head! AAAHHHH!!!! Anyways………..REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Oh, and if anyone knows where I can find the lyrics to all the songs on Daphne Rubin-Vega's CD, "Redemption Songs" please PM me the link!


	7. Tears You InsideOut

**Disclaimer: What do you think?**

**A/N: **Lalala… ok, bad language in this chapter, so sorry about that! and, this may be the last chapter for a while (like two weeks or so) cuz school's almost over(8 MORE DAYS, not counting weekends!) So yeah, we have like A BUNCH of tests plus finals!

**A/N 2:**I think I have a thing for mental breakdowns in bathrooms (see 6th Period Nightmare) lol.

Chapter 7: Tears You Inside-Out

I sat in silence the whole cab ride back to the loft.

Shit. Shit. Shit. F-ck. Shit. F-ck! Not good! Seriously f-ck! I hate this. I can't believe this happened. I can't tell them, not yet at least, I thought my life was turning around; come on Kaila, your life can't turn around in two weeks. I thought that I wouldn't have any more problems with him, but now he has to f-cking haunt me. He has to haunt me so I can't f-cking escape him. As if what he did to me wasn't enough.

When the cab arrived outside the loft, it took me a good two minutes to get out of my weird daze before I followed the others up the steps. I walked into the room and immediately sat on the duct tape covered couch, staring straight ahead.

"Uh, hello? Earth to Kaila," Maureen swished her hand in front of my face, causing me to blink and break my odd trance.

"Yeah, what?"

"You were like, looking really creepy and just staring at the wall, you okay?" Collins asked, sitting down at the metal table.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied quickly.

"Sure," he said with a 'yeah right' attitude. He picked up a newspaper from the table and pretended to read it, but I knew he was just using it as a shield to hide his eyes so I wouldn't see him studying me, trying to read my mind.

I didn't have time to care; my focus was on getting Brad out of my head. It had been two weeks since I ran away, two weeks since I saw Brad's face, two weeks since I saw Luke's. I felt a tear run down my cheek as Luke entered my mind. Get a hold of yourself Kaila! You can not break down, especially here.

"I need to use the bathroom," I said, lying.

"Second door on the right," Collins said, pointing in the general area of the hallway. I got up and walked down the hall, leaving them in the main room.

Oh God, why am I here? Why? Cause I'm pathetic. I couldn't last three more years, only three, maybe only two if I took extra credit classes. I'm pathetic because I was scared-scared of Brad, scared of getting hurt, both physically and emotionally, and scared of love. Oh f-ck, why am I like this? Why am I being punished for someone else's mistakes? I didn't have the time or the courage to think about my past right now.

I entered the bathroom, locking the door behind me and sliding to the floor, crying.

You know what? I bet they're out there talking about me right now, saying things like "what are we going to do with her?" or "how can we keep her? We don't know anything about her?" 'Keep,' like I was some pet or something that had no f-cking clue of what was going on. Like I was happy and completely content to have somewhere to live, no matter how temporarily I stayed here.

I probably stayed there on the floor crying for a good seven minutes. I warily stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I look like shit. My face was red and wet and my eyes were puffy. I turned the faucet on cold and let the water run over my face, relaxing myself to face them. I wiped my face with the cleanest towel I could find, and looked at myself again. Better. I unlocked the door, and went back into the main room and took back my seat on the couch.

Collins was still at the metal table reading the newspaper, Joanne was sitting at the window sill, and Maureen was sitting on a chair next to the couch. Everyone was silent. I knew they were thinking about the same thing though. They wanted to know my past. All of them-Collins, Joanne, Maureen, Mark, Mimi and Roger. They wanted to know what happened to me. I just wasn't ready to go blabbing my life story to them. It would get complicated, very complicated.

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Me encantan reviews!!!!! (I love reviews)


	8. Here Goes Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**A/N: rewrite! Sorry it took so long! Sorry that other chapter was crap! Or at least i thought it was, and I kinda thought I was stuck after it. Anyways ENJOY!**

**Kaila POV**

**Chapter 8: Here Goes Part 1**

That evening was pretty much the same as the previous night. Mimi brought home some food from the Life Café which we all ate before she and Roger left for his gig. Soon after they left, Maureen and Joanne left, promising to come back first thing the next day to try to sort out all this('all this' meaning me). I said goodnight and retreated back to Mark's room and fell asleep.

* * *

_I was running- just constantly running through this long, dark alley-looking. I didn't recognize it, yet, there was something familiar about it. What I was running from, I'm not sure, I just knew there was a purpose for my running- to escape whatever I was running from. I quickened my pace; whatever I was running from was getting faster and closer. I looked around and on either side of me, floating along almost, was Luke and my mom. They just stared at me as I kept running like I was running from something I couldn't escape from, that I should just stop and let it catch me. There was no use to my running, I couldn't escape it and whatever was chasing me would catch me eventually. But I didn't stop. I had hope that I would get away. Both Luke and my mom kept silently staring at me as I ran, as if they were telepathically telling me to stop running. My mother's eyes had sorrow and pity in them, while Luke's had confusion and guilt. All of a sudden I was falling. They were still floating beside me though. Then, I knew what I was running from, him. Brad. I saw his face directly in front of me, laughing at me, at my failure to keep running. His hand reached out to grab me. I heard a screaming voice that wasn't my own until……_

* * *

I woke up in a sweat, sitting straight up, screaming my lungs out. While I was screaming I realized I was in New York, in Mark, Roger, and Mimi's apartment. Just great. 

Mimi was the first one in.

"Kaila? Honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" she sat on my (well Mark's) bed and rubbed my back in an attempt to calm me down.

Then Roger.

"What's going on in here?" he said.

And then Mark, who said nothing.

I pulled my knees to my chest and started rocking back and forth, since I had no idea of what to do right now. I sat there silently crying, just rocking back and forth, as if it could fix everything.

But it couldn't.

"Kaila, you're going to have to tell us what's going on," Roger said. I think that's the first time he used my name in a sentence since I got here.

I just nodded and put my face in my hands to hide my tears. I wished I could just disappear, or fly away, or that this would all just be some bad dream I was having. But it wasn't. This was my life, and this is what was happening now.

"Hey Mark, how about you go make some tea?" Mimi said, and Mark left the room. "Actually, why don't we go into the main room?"

We went into the main room, Roger leading the way and getting blankets from the closet.

I sat down on the duct-tape sofa (continuing to cry) and Mark handed me a cup of tea and sat in the chair near the phone.

It was probably four or five minutes before anyone spoke.

"Ok, fine," I said.

Three pair of confused eyes were on me.

"I'll tell you," I said. "Everything."

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**tell me what you think! REVIEW PLEASE!**


	9. Here Goes Part 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**A/N: this is sorta the main "tada!" chapter for what happened to Kaila. **_**Italics**_** background but still being told to them. (Otherwise I'd have talking/reaction/talking/reaction and so on.)**

**Kaila POV**

**Chapter 8: Here Goes Part 2**

Mimi pulled Mark and Roger over to the kitchen. They mumbled things I couldn't hear for a bit, then Roger went over to the phone while Mimi and Mark came back over to me, nervously looking from each other to Roger to me.

Within a few minutes, Maureen, Joanne, and Collins had arrived. They talked with Mimi, Mark and Roger in the kitchen, who, I'm guessing, told them what happened, and wondering what they should do.

For about five minutes they just talked in there.

"Do you want to know or not?" I finally said, getting their attention.

They came into the main room, found places to sit, and stared at me, as if saying, "Yes."

* * *

_It's interesting to hear your own life story, since you don't remember a thing, told to you after so many years. I've almost memorized it by now. My birth mother was sixteen when she had me, dropped me off at a fire station when I was 2 months old. She was a heroin junkie at the time (didn't become one until after I was born, thank God). I was placed into the adoption system at Grace Adoption Center. You would think a newborn baby would be fast to be adopted, but no, people heard about my birth mother and ran before the agency people could even explain._

_After 5 and a half years of being turned down (and after the agency people decided I shouldn't live my entire childhood in the center) they decided I should be put into foster care. _

_That's family number one. _

_Leila and Ryan Wilson. A young couple, not even married a full year. They wanted to "test out having a kid" (as they so kindly put it) before they had one of their own. At first they were great; I remember having every toy I ever wanted. But then they figured out that children, like everyone else, have needs. Food, clothes, attention, and all that other stuff. So they chickened out, within six months I was back at Grace._

_It was not uncommon for a child to be sent back to an agency after foster care, I saw it a lot with the older kids, but hardly ever with the kids in my age group. I just brushed it off as no big deal, I was still young and had plenty of time before no one wanted to adopt me. Who wouldn't want a polite little 6 year old anyways? _

_Fast forward to age 8. By now I had learned the ropes at Grace. How to sneak the candy from the cafeteria, how to get on the "warden's" good side, and I knew all the secret rooms and hiding places. My friend there, Luke, was always with me. He was also one of the older kids, 10 months older than me. He had entered the system when he was 4 years old though; his parents were killed in a car accident. We looked out for each other, like real siblings would. _

_Then came family number two._

_Mara and John Bennett. They were young, but not as young as the Wilsons, maybe early 30's, I don't remember. They thought it would be easier to take care of a kid rather than an infant. They were unprepared for me then. Truthfully, I hated them, and that's why I became a bad kid. I wouldn't clean my room, do my homework, hell I even "accidentally" started a fire in the kitchen making pancakes one time. I also broke their priceless lion statue (I don't know why they had it in the first place, with those beady little eyes it HAD to be destroyed) playing catch with myself in the dining room. Sixteen months later: back at Grace._

_At my age, ten and a half, I was almost a part of a different group. The older group. I had eight years before I would age-out. Leave the system. Be totally on my own. Out in the world to fend for myself. Luke, as it turned out, had not gotten any family offers when I was gone. Once again we were best friends, like I never left. We roamed the halls at the center late at night, just talking about nothing. We helped look after the little kids in the nursery. A year later though, Luke was adopted, a nice couple in their late 30's/early 40's who could never have kids of their own. He simply loved them. I was happy for him, I really was, but I could not help feeling some jealousy. I just couldn't seem to get adopted. It wasn't my fault; it was my birth mother's. SHE was the one who had stamped the "junkie's daughter" stamp on my forehead and that's all people saw. They don't ask when, how or why. She hadn't even started doing smack until a month after I was born._

_Fast forward again: age 13. A middle-aged couple, Jack and Madeline Turner, came in one day. They immediately fell in love with me. I was officially adopted within a month. I was so happy. Finally, after all these years of hoping and praying, I was adopted. There was no more questioning where my home was. I loved my new parents, and, unlike my past two families, called them "Mom" and "Dad." It was the best feeling in the world._

_Four months later, my parents started having problems. Not with me though. They would get in stupid fights about stupid things, like leaving a window open or not cleaning the dishes right, but they turned into big fights, not physical, just loud. I was probably the only reason Dad stayed as long he did. I remember the night he left._

_November 4__th__ 1990._

_It was lightly snowing, it seemed like one of those nights a family would sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate, not experience a life-changing event. He had his packed suitcase in his hand and came over to talk to me before he left. _

"_I'm sorry Kaila, but this is for the best," a single tear left a trail down my cheek. "I want you to know that I still love you, no matter what happens." _

_I nodded and he hugged me, kissing my cheek before he grabbed his suitcase up off the floor. Then he walked out the door and out of my life forever._

_Not even two months after Dad left, my mom started dating again; I don't even think the divorce was finalized yet. Almost every night she cam home late. I can't blame her for trying to find someone new, but I think that's a little soon. I met a few of her boyfriends, the ones that could've gotten serious. Let's see there were Chad, Mike, Elliott, and Jake. _

_But after them, she met Brad. She said Brad was sweet, kind, and treated her like a queen. They were so in love they got married in three months, and I had a new "daddy." At first he was cool, treated me like I was his own daughter when I actually opened up to him. But then Brad was reunited with an old friend, alcohol. Apparently he was almost flat broke when he met my mom, and now that he had money, he bought every type of drink there was. Vodka, wine, beer, anything that had the label "contains alcohol." My mom was blinded by love though, she wouldn't leave him. So we became poorer and poorer. We had to move into a worn-down apartment in the not so rich area of Boston. Not to mention Brad's drinking made him abusive sometimes. He also began to buy heroin with our money, and the drugs combined with the alcohol only made him worse. He would hit my mom and me when we did something wrong or forgot to do something. So she began to spend more and more time at work, leaving me home alone. I tried to spend as much time as I could with the few friends I had, including Luke, who now lived in an apartment in downtown Boston. They didn't know Brad was doing this to me. They thought I had a perfect life._

_Unfortunately I couldn't keep up that impression forever._

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**A/N: so that's part 2! REVIEW!!!! no flames please.**


	10. Here Goes Part 3

**Disclaimer: what do you think? Of course I don't own RENT!**

**A/N: and here, my friends, is Part 3! It was hard to write this part, since I had something totally different planned for this "scene," but thought this was more dramatic. Again, **_**italics**_**background but still being told to them. don't worry, this is the last part of chapter 8.**

**Chapter 8: Here Goes Part 3**

"So that's why you ran away?" Maureen asked.

"Actually no," I replied. "Not until…."

* * *

_Because Brad was hurting me whenever I was home, i tried to spend as much time as I could away from home. This particular day, I spent it at the mall with Luke._

* * *

_Later that night I came home to see Brad, watching TV in the "living room."_

"_Hey! Where the f-ck have you been?!?" he yelled at me, eyes glazed over signaling he was drunk or high or both._

"_At my friend's house, I told you before I left!" I told him._

"_Oh, right," he said. "At what's his face's house. Does mommy's little girl have a boyfriend?" tears came to my eyes when he mentioned my mother, who had died last year from his abuse. "Is mommy's little girl sleeping with this boyfriend? You spend enough time with him. Is mommy's little girl a whore?"_

_I went to punch him but he grabbed my wrist._

"_Answer me you little bitch!"_

_He punched my jaw with his other hand when I didn't respond._

"_No, he's not my boyfriend and I'm not a whore!"_

_Brad slapped my face and pushed me across the room, causing me to land on the floor and hit my head on the fridge._

"_Liar!" he ran over to me but I ducked away just in time so he wouldn't catch me. He crashed into the fridge as I ran into my sorry excuse for a bedroom._

_In this moment I realized I couldn't do this anymore-constantly being abused, lying to my friends, hiding my bruises with make-up, taking myself down to the free clinic, lying to them about my injuries, and coming back here to do it all over again. _

_I hurriedly packed a few of my things in my old, worn backpack, planning to go out the fire escape that was just out the window of my room._

"_Where do you think you're going?" Brad said as he entered my room. Then he grabbed my arm and dragged me into the other room. _

_He slammed me against the wall and punched me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me for at least a minute._

"_Trying to leave, huh?" He slammed against the wall again, by now my nose was bleeding and I tasted blood in my mouth. I was sure I had bruises forming on my face and stomach too. _

"_Well that's not happening!" he said in an evil whisper. He held my hands above my head against the wall, to keep me from escaping._

"_You're a sick bastard," I said, spitting in his face, causing him to slam me against the wall again after he wiped his face with his sleeve._

"_You're gonna pay for that missy," he said as he grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the wall, hard, causing me to slowly drift away into unconsciousness as I slid to the floor._

* * *

_When I opened my eyes, my head was pounding with pain. I looked around. I saw IV tubes in my hand and a sticker with a red light attached to my finger. I was in a Looney Toons covered gown. When my vision became clear I looked up and saw Luke standing in the doorway, flowers in his hand._

"_Hey," I said with an attempt at a smile, even though I knew I had bruises on my face and arms._

"_Hey yourself," he said, setting the flowers down on the bedside table and pulling a chair over to the bed._

_"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my forehead._

_"One of your neighbors heard shouting coming from your apartment and called the cops. When they got there, they found you passed out in the kitchen," Luke told me. the events of the night before came flooding back to me._

_We sat in silence for a few minutes._

"_Why didn't you tell me?" Luke asked, not making eye contact with me, it looked like he was on the verge of crying._

_I sat there silently, feeling like a little kid who'd just gotten in trouble._

"_Why didn't you tell me?" he said a little louder, stronger._

"_I don't know," I said weakly._

"_Why the hell not? He was hurting you, Kaila, hurting you again and again and you didn't do anything to stop it."_

"_Again I don't know why I didn't do anything! I was scared ok? I figured I could make through high school, and leave here, get away from him, far away. I didn't want some big mess. I didn't want to have to be passed to a different home! You and I sure as hell know what that's like. I didn't want to have to go through that again," I said. He nodded in response. _

_At that moment the doctor entered with a clipboard._

"_Hello Kaila, glad to see you're awake. I'm Dr.Gonzalez," she began. I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "We did an X-ray and you have two bruised ribs, which isn't too serious, but can be quite painful, so we're gonna get you set on some pain medication. Fortunately, that's as serious as your injuries get. You're a very lucky girl Kaila."_

_And with that she left._

_"Lucky, yeah, right, **this** is what you call lucky," I said sarcastically. _

_"Well, she was right, it could've been a lot worse-," Luke began._

_"Yeah, and I could've died. He could've beaten me to death, just like he did to my mom." This was the first time I told Luke the real reason she died, before I just told him she was in a car accident. _

_"Well he didn't do that to you. You're gonna be okay." _

* * *

_A few days later I found out that they had caught Brad and had him in custody down at the police station. When I got out of the hospital I was to go I.D. him and go to court to serve as a witness against him to send him to prison. _

_I stayed in the hospital for a week longer before I was allowed to be discharged. Since I couldn't check myself out of the hospital since I was still a minor and i had no where else to go at the moment, my Aunt Abbey had to come down from Somerville to pick me up and take me back to her house. _

* * *

_When we arrived at her house, I was greeted by my two and a half year old cousin, Hannah._

_"Kay, Kay!" she squealed from my Uncle James's arms. He put her down and took my backpack from Aunt Abbey. Hannah came up to me and I kneeled down to hug her._

_"Hey Hannah," I said in as happy of a voice as I could, which wasn't much._

_"Kay sad?"_

_"Yeah, Kay's a little sad right now," I replied, picking her up._

_"Kay needs ice-ceam. Ice-ceam always makes me happy." _

_"I don't know if ice cream can make me happy , but it will surely make me feel better right now," I said to her. _

* * *

_I got settled into the guest bedroom later that night after dinner. It was a lot nicer than the old bedroom I knew. Pictures by famous photographers were hung on the light green walls. The full size bed was neatly made with a white comforter. The room also connected to its own bathroom, which was equally fancy._

_As much as I knew I would be best off staying here, I couldn't. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw Brad's face. I couldn't stay where I was constantly reminded of what happened to me. I had to leave, even though I knew how much it would hurt those who cared about me. But I knew I would be in more pain if I stayed here._

_I took out my notebook and a pen from my backpack._

Dear Everyone,

I'm sorry, but I can't stay here. I can't stay here and expect to recover from what happened to me. Please understand that. That whatever I do, I can't escape it. Not here. I need to at least try to forget, but as long as I stay here, it's all I can think about. Please don't worry, and don't be sad. Be happy in the fact that I am trying to find happiness for myself. Tell Luke I'm sorry. When I'm ready to talk, I'll call.

XOXO

Kaila

_I placed the note on my pillow, and left._

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